Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

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  (609): I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife. http://tfl.nu/63v4
  Replies (6) Good night (488) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.

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  (847): This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car. http://tfl.nu/cnfz
  Replies (5) Good night (496) Bad night (1838) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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  (856): Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend. http://tfl.nu/zfxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3418) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you

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  (315): dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you http://tfl.nu/n46y
  Replies (13) Good night (5323) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

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  (417): I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me. http://tfl.nu/vc9f
  Replies (16) Good night (5855) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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  (310): she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again. http://tfl.nu/4ycr
  Replies (10) Good night (2822) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.

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  (703): of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES. http://tfl.nu/3o3r
  Replies (9) Good night (1161) Bad night (3667) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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  (928): Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/yr6e
  Replies (18) Good night (1390) Bad night (2714) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (22) Good night (2632) Bad night (617)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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  (480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u
  Replies (15) Good night (1013) Bad night (1290)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1723) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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  (561): Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets. http://tfl.nu/6ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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  (609): Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like http://tfl.nu/h698
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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  (912): I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations. http://tfl.nu/gyzy
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (202)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I need a hug and tequila

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is why we need to live in the same city again

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  (865): I need a hug and tequila (615): I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now (865): This is why we need to live in the same city again http://tfl.nu/bxgt
  Replies (1) Good night (790) Bad night (171)

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