she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted