What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He passed out mid-signature
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing