The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize