I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.