For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Found the puke drawer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...