like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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