I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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