to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
