they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
