I showed him my bush... on skype.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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