Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
