...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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