So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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