We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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