I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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