I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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