awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
