But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize