guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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