What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
