I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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