Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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