JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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