I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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