so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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