did you get engaged???
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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