Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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