question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The best revenge is premature balding
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
