Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize