can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS