Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.