Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
