there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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