I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize