He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
