Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
