college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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