youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
