Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder