Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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  (724): I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo. (724): That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling http://tfl.nu/z57r
  Replies (23) Good night (2007) Bad night (536)
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  (718): View more from New York

  im about as happy as oj after his trial

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  (718): im about as happy as oj after his trial http://tfl.nu/g9i1
  Replies (20) Good night (2429) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree

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  (617): I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree http://tfl.nu/6ra8
  Replies (23) Good night (6046) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.

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  (603): You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing. http://tfl.nu/vk7w
  Replies (6) Good night (4310) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2398) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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  (585): So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar? http://tfl.nu/e57l
  Replies (9) Good night (1173) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life

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  (775): I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life http://tfl.nu/gkf7
  Replies (1) Good night (1405) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam

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  (530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam http://tfl.nu/24cr
  Replies (4) Good night (3168) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

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  (570): I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce http://tfl.nu/7uec
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did she buy you pizza?

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  (610): the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around. (215): did she buy you pizza? http://tfl.nu/k5jd
  Replies (9) Good night (2138) Bad night (541)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

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  (310): Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself http://tfl.nu/e5tp
  Replies (3) Good night (1295) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.

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  (317): I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes. http://tfl.nu/hbk8
  Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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  (703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0
  Replies (7) Good night (414) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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  (862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg
  Replies (7) Good night (1015) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.

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  (610): I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them. http://tfl.nu/t18i
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt

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