I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.