I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
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We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.