This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon