What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice