Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?