my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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