Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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