she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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