Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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