And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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