suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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