I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
