I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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