but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize