ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
