I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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