Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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