you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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