woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just had sex on a roof
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize