that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
